Possibly the best advice I've ever gotten in terms of getting shit done.
I was meeting up with a good friend of mine in his bar/restaurant. A place that he designed, built, created the concept for and of course paid for. He is a few years younger than me and on a business level way more successful than me. He has been inspiring me for quite some years now.
His upbringing was vastly different to mine. I had such an easy childhood. I always felt like I had what I needed. In my world the word "hustling" meant to get through a day at school without the teacher noticing I didn't do my homework.
My friend grew up in a surrounding where the pressure seemed much higher. Making a living yourself was a reality for him from an early time in his life. So, that's what he did and still does...
Every time we catch up, we end up having hour long conversations about life, struggles, new concepts, events, poetry, music, art, photography, religion, people, social media and so on. There is no subject we wouldn't talk about and there is nothing we couldn't give each other valuable input on.
One major thing we both have in common, I would say, is that whenever we are facing a problem or resistance in our lives, we reflect back on ourselves and ask the question "What is my role in this? Why did I decide to be in this situation and feel this way?"
On this particular day I told him how I was struggling working together with people. I told him how I'm always looking for opportunities to improve collaborations, make everybody involved feel valued and create a safe and connected team spirit. However, it doesn't seem to matter how much effort I put into taking care of others. I was always facing frustration in the end. Frustration being triggered by uncommitted people. People I work with would say "I'm in. I will help you. I will get involved. I will do this or that." Whatever their words might be. Eventually it always seems like there is lack of commitment. So, I'm reflecting back onto myself asking the question "What can I change in myself to inspire others to commit more?". I know I can't tell people what or what not to do. Also, I don't want to do that. I wanna work with people that love what they are doing, therefore they do their best work possible, plus they are committed. So, I tell my friend about these teams I have been part in, what we're trying to achieve and how it's all dragging out. I've tried different things to create a better working environment, but still people don't show up or don't wanna commit. bla bla bla
My friend was just listening...
Eventually he disrupts my rant, looks at me and says "George, people will never commit. It doesn't matter how much you pay them. It doesn't matter how good their benefits are, It doesn't matter how good you think you are taking care of them. Let me tell you this.
Do Everything yourself!"
You know where you're going. You know you are committed. Therefore, you know you will get the work done. Do it yourself. Whatever it is you will figure it out and learn what needs to be learned. Once you start doing that, people will approach you. They will see your success and what you do and want to be part of it. Now, because THEY approach you, they have a different level of commitment. It becomes THEIR idea to get involved. You didn't ask anybody for any help. On top of that YOU get to pick the people who you resonate the most with.
This advice hit me like a brick, but in the best way possible. I just remembered so many times in my life where I did exactly that and people seemed to come out of nowhere wanting to help me and be part of what I do. Just let people come to you. Be patient.
Since this conversation a lot has happened and I've been following my friend’s advice more and more. Sometimes I have to remind myself about it. I get lost in waiting for other people to do things for me. Things that are not part of their vision. I always have to remember that I AM the one person caring the most about my own vision. Every person has their own vision of how to live life and that's what they care about the most. If it's part of your own vision, do everything yourself! This is how you progress. This is how things get done. This is how you will create something that is truly authentic and frustration will turn into satisfaction.
Thanks for checkin' in.
Jelly
Comments