So, I had this beautiful experience yesterday of moving the energy of a strong emotion through my body without attaching to it for more than a few minutes. At the time I honestly felt I had let go of it and moved on. Over the course of last night something interesting happened though. I was thinking about the conversation triggering the emotion and I triggered myself again. This time it was not about the initial emotion, but about the feeling I created. Generally, most people would consider an emotion and a feeling the same. At least that’s what I heard. To me there is a difference. I also heard my interpretation of feeling vs emotion before from other people. So, it’s nothing I just came up with by myself. There is also a conversation about this topic in my podcast “no expectations” here on the website. episode #1
Anyways, I believe an emotion is something that moves us. Energy that gets ‘stuck’ in our body or maybe better to say energy ‘we decide to hold on to’. This energy has no thoughts attached to it. It’s just an emotion. We say we ‘feel’ an emotion which often lets us believe that it’s the same as a feeling. Maybe it would help to come up with a new word for awareness of an emotion. I feel a feeling and I ‘emote’ and emotion. Now I am emoting emotions. Ok, why not?! (I just googled it and the word ‘to emote’ already exist but in the context of acting and not in the way I will use it in this blog). Let’s see if this makes it easier. So again, when I am emoting, I don’t have any thoughts attached to the emotion. It’s the pure emotion without judgement. And this is what I was able to pass through my body.
Anyways, at night then, when I was thinking about the conversation and I attached judgment to certain things being said. I decided to feel a certain way about it because I started to take it personal. Therefore, I created a feeling. A feeling is something attached to my ego. We tell ourselves who we are as a person. Other people also tell themselves who we are as a person from their perspective. If somebody tells you what or who you are and you don’t agree with this person, it will create a feeling of resistance. We don’t feel connected. If we agree with them, we do feel connected. We also get a feeling, but a ‘good’ one.
‘You are a nice person.’
‘Thank you. I agree.’ Pleasant feeling, right?
‘You are a manipulative person’
‘No, I don’t agree.’ Unpleasant feeling…
Important to know is that we do this with ourselves all the time. It doesn’t have to be somebody else triggering us. It’s a story well tell ourselves.
If I’m completely aware and in total alignment with who I am, nobody could trigger me because I wouldn’t take the image they made of me into account.
I guess then you reached the point where you truly don’t give a shit about what people say about you. It’s a phrase we use so loosely. ‘Yeh man, I don’t give a shit about it’, ‘I don’t care what they say’. Fact is that most of the time we still do give a shit because we like to attach ourselves to things and people. Our best friends opinions have more weight to us than the opinion of a complete stranger. The stranger doesn’t even know you, so why would you care? But, how well does your best friend know you? Your friends also just tell themselves a story about you based on all the interactions they had with you and what other people said about you. This story can be close to the story you tell yourself about yourself, but it won’t be the same.
But what if you decide you don’t wanna be this person anymore? We could walk around and tell everybody how we are a changed person, so they understand. Maybe they won’t get confused because it’s not a surprise to them. You made an announcement, right? (Or you write a blog about it hahahah).
Anyways, we can also just embody the ‘new’ person and let our actions speak for themselves. You probably will collide more with people close to you because of their strong image of the ‘old’ you. They have expectations towards how you are as a person because they’ve know you for a while.
Consider this. Let’s say you have a childhood friend. You’ve known each other since you were five. Ten years later you are 15 and your friend says, ‘Hey man, I don’t know you anymore. You used to play Pokémon all the time. What happened? You’ve changed.
This doesn’t happen because our friend understands that we are not the same person anymore from ten years ago. You’ve undergone physical and mental changes. It was obvious.
Once our body stops growing in our late teens, we don’t see the physical change that obviously anymore. The look between you at the age of 25 and 35 is obvious when you put two photos next to each other. But it’s much more obvious when you look at photos of you at the age of five and 15. Even though both times the difference is 10 years.
All I’m trying to say is, that we always change. Sometimes it might not look like it on the outside, but we still change. Today I’m not the same person I was yesterday and tomorrow I will be different again. Everybody changes and as long as we can accept that, we won’t be shocked when we find out something new about people, we think we know well.
Life would be boring without change.
Let me finish with a question today.
Do you think, if we wouldn’t have memories or the capability to memorize we wouldn’t be able attach to feelings?
Lemme know what you think. Cya.
Jelly
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