It's so satisfying to get to know your true self.
Looks like everybody likes to read about my opinion on pussy. Definitely had the most views on my last blog post so far. hahaha
It’s really relieving to write a blog, you know. I’ve never done it until I started this one. I’ve expressed my emotions through music and poetry a lot, but rarely through free writing. I always tried to put it into rhymes and rhythms. Doesn’t have to be like that tho.
Freestyling in music and free writing has a very similar effect on me. The fact that I just create words without thinking about them gives me a great feeling of liberation. It’s like therapy.
There is only one thing I have to keep in mind. Without it, I won’t get this satisfying feeling.
Most important is to not hesitate. As soon as I hesitate, I question what I was about to say. But thinking can’t be a part of this because free writing is not about thinking. It’s about keeping the flow. Free flow. No time to think, therefore you will just write or say what I KNOW and not what I THINK I KNOW. As long as I’m honest with myself and not afraid to say what comes out, it’s the easiest thing in world.
Just try this. Start talking and don’t stop for one minute. That’s it. Don’t worry about what you’re gonna say. Only make sure you don't stop talking for one minute. Afterwards you probably won’t remember half of what you said, because you said it in the moment. You didn’t pull it from memory. It was just created right there and then.
It feels fucking great! You really notice what’s actually going on inside of you. What you really feel. Sometimes I surprise myself by what I say. There is so many things we don’t want to admit about ourselves because we are afraid to say or even to think them. Usually because we are conditioned through our upbringing. Society seems to say that some things are ‘right’ and others are ‘wrong’. It’s just somebodies concept tho. Again, it comes back to authenticity. I know it’s always a big topic in my blog, but guess what, it’s the most important thing in the world to me. Only through being authentic I can really be happy from the core. Being authentic sometimes means to admit to myself that you enjoy something other people find weird. Maybe it would even make me unpopular if other people knew about that thing I like so much. However, there is an opportunity here. Admitting to other people how I really feel might make me unpopular for certain people who don’t agree with me. Remember tho, I will always run into people who won’t agree with me whether I lie or not. So I might as well be honest. My ‘job’ in this existence is not to make sure everybody likes me. It’s to be honest to myself. So, I will repel some people. That’s fine, but at least I’m the most honest and authentic version of myself. Here is the upside. As soon as I start speaking from my heart and not from my head I will only attract the right people into my life. How so? Well, let’s say, I tell my parents 'I like black chicks' and they would be the kind of people that wouldn’t ‘approve’. Then I would probably create resistance between me and them. Tension or an argument. Whatever you wanna call it. (quick disclaimer at this point. I’m not talking about my own parents here, cause they are cool.) For them ‘crossing the boundary’ would be more like ‘Mom, dad. I’m in love with a donkey. This is Skiddles. She like carrots and belly rubs.) Anyways, I’m not into donkeys. But I do like black chicks. Hahaha
Back to the point. Now, I’m being honest to myself about what I like. I’m being honest to the people around me about what I like. At this point my surrounding has to adapt to me, because I’m authentic. I won’t change my preferences because of what anybody says or thinks about me. Some people will disappear from my life, but others will be attracted to me because they agree with me. And because I’m authentic, they agree with the way I truly feel. They agree with my core values and those are the people you actually want to have in your life. You literally attract the environment you want to live in. To refer to my last post where I said ‘Pussy is distractive’, guess what? It’s only distractive because I want it to be. Pussy is not the problem. I am.
Flow state all the way.
Jelly
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