What are emotions good for?
I truly believe, that everything I experience is created by myself and within myself. Therefore, I take full responsibility for everything happening in my life. There is no excuse blaming anything or anybody else but myself. This includes my emotions.
Why do we say things like 'It hurts me when you talk to me like that' or 'This guy really makes me angry'.
We're telling ourselves that somebody else has the power of making us feel a certain way. We're making them responsible.
In my personal experience this is just not true and I will tell you why right now. Responsibility, we can't give. We can only take it.
Most of us know sayings like 'In one ear, out the other.' or 'Stick and stones can break my bones, but words can never break me.' Still we get upset by things people say. It happens all the time.
Ok, first of all let's establish that words are not the problem. Words are merely sounds and the person that hears them makes up a meaning for that sound. If I would insult you in a language you don't understand, you wouldn't give two shits about it, because you don't know I'm insulting you. My body language might give it away, but that's again just something you're interpreting.
Right now, my lady friend and I are sitting on the bed next to each other. She's doing an Indonesian class on her app. Just a minute ago I thought to myself 'I will put headphones on so I won't disturb her with any loptop or Iphone sounds. Next, I open my phone and a youtube video starts playing. I pause it straight away, but for a split second the video was quite loud. Immediately, she turns to me and says 'Do you think it would be a good idea if we both use headphones?'
Now, I'm hearing two thinks at the same time. The message of her sentence and the way she says it. So, my interpretation of that sentence becomes something like 'Hey, put your headphones on and be quiet.' Technically, she asked me a question, but in my head I turned it into a statement, because that's how interpret it together with her intonation (the way she sounded when she said it). I'm also getting an emotional response at the same time, because I was wanting to put headphones on anyways. I never wanted to disturb her. At least not consciously. From my perspective I had good intentions, but her response to my loud youtube video created a feeling of resistance inside of me.
However, I'm the one interpreting what she says and I'm also the one creating that feeling. On a deeper level I'm also the one creating her, because I create everything within my own experience. And at this point in time she's a part of my experience. I could tell myself that it's her fault and she's the one making me feel that way, but then I would give away my powers. As long as I believe, I'm the one creating my own experience I can choose the way I feel about things.
Even though, I know for myself that all of this is true, I still get triggered. And by triggered I mean, I get an emotion that I wasn't prepared for and that I didn't appreciate at the time it occurred.
Why do I do this?
Emotions seem to appear subconsciously. They just appear and then they dissolve again.
I believe they are a type of internal compass. It has the word 'motion' in it. Something that puts us in motion. Something that moves us. Emotions stir us towards certain things, people, situations, thoughts, etc and repulse us from others. They give us some sort of reflection of what frequency we are in harmony with at the time. If the emotions feels pleasant, we are on the same frequency as the trigger.
Like always I can only speak for myself from personal experience. I'm just documenting what's going on inside of me. Whatever meaning we'd like to give to our emotions is always up to us. I feel very blessed that I'm able to feel and experience emotions, because they are the creative force that drives my inspiration. They bring my music alive. They tell the story between the lines. Exploring them and allowing myself to feel them consciously, gives me a deep sense of satisfaction and aliveness. There is no such thing as a bad emotion because as long as I'm in motion I'm are alive.
That felt good.
Jelly
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